The First Trimester

(...and all that comes with it)

So with two positive pregnancy tests under my belt, I decided that yes in fact I definitely was 100% pregnant! But you always have that worry don't you.... that when you go to the scan they'll tell you you're not pregnant at all! (This was constantly in my head, silly me)

First trimester is a constant worry!

But you have millions of worries when you realise you're pregnant for the first time (or any time for that matter). Am I going to be a good parent? Is this real? Are they going to tell me at my first scan that my pregnancy tests were somehow wrong? Am I going to be ok? Is my body going to reject this pregnancy or will I get by the 12 weeks ok? What should I not eat? Should I not lift anything? Being it the first pregnancy for myself, I was petrified of the thought of having a person inside me. I was petrified that I wouldn't get to the 12 weeks, I was petrified that someone would bump into me, that I would fall, that something would happen to take this amazing gift away from me. I wanted to wrap myself in bubble wrap for the first trimester, whilst not many people knew I was pregnant, I had to make excuses about why I wasn't drinking at parties, why I wasn't lifting heavy things, why I was so reluctant about going out, (being a 23 year old girl it's more or less expected of you to want to go to parties and drink or whatever, thankfully not me!). 

My immediate family were told more or less straight away, my partner knew but I still kept it away from friends, just because I was so scared of something happening in the first 12 weeks as they're the most scary and you're told to wait until your first scan to tell anyone, so that's what I did, (or tried to)

Clothes didn't fit anymore...

I was told because I'm so "petite" that my first pregnancy probably wouldn't show until 5/6 months, because that's the norm right? Yeah... not for me! By 8 weeks I had to invest in new clothes, nothing fit me anymore, well t-shirts and jumpers still fit because obviously I hadn't out grown them, but my size 4 jeans were the first thing to go (no wonder) and all jeans following that! I invested in bigger jeans and leggings which were the only things to now fit me. I couldn't believe by 8 weeks that not bottoms fit me anymore, or bra's for that matter. My boobs jumped straight to a C cup in the first few weeks and for anyone who knows me will know I've never been blessed in this department before so I welcomed these new breasts with open arms!

Are you sure there's only one in there?

Another massive worry for me was that I was having twins. TWINS! Constantly in my mind, my mum was convincing me it had to be twins, she'd never seen anyone grow so quick during their first pregnancy, I kept saying it has to be because I'm so tiny. I did NOT want twins, they're gorgeous but two of everything? One baby was scaring me enough, two would just be the icing on the cake! But thankfully when I got my first scan... It was only one! *Phew*
Although this meant nothing to anyone after my first scan, they STILL tried to convince me it was twins, but I can assure you it's only one!! I was literally just that big straight away, so if you're like me and get a bump straight away, don't worry :) it's perfectly normal!

The worst thing that could happen, did...

So worrying from day one about this pregnancy because it felt, and still does, to good to be true... I was literally just waiting for something bad to happen, and of course it did.

I was 10 weeks at this stage and I had literally just told my closest friends about the pregnancy - One night after visiting my friend and her newborn (getting practice in), I came home, it was a normal night... nothing out of the ordinary and I hadn't been exercising, nothing different. But to my absolute horror when I went to the toilet for a wee (which happens 24/7 in pregnancy by the way!) I got up to a pool of blood, the whole toilet was covered in blood. I was in on my own and I just started shaking, the worst things came to mind straight away "This is it, I'm not going to make it to 12 weeks, I knew it was too good to be true" - I phoned my partner straight away, he told me to ring the doctor on call and so I did. 

Whilst I was waiting for a call back I kept telling myself that it was ok, that if I was losing the pregnancy that everything would be ok, I was strong enough to face it, I would get through it, obviously God had other plans for me. I was convincing myself I would be ok because I knew this was happening right now. 

The nurse was lovely and because I had no pain, she told me to get to bed straight away and rest, not to get up, to literally lay in bed until the next morning to I phoned my doctor, told me that it probably wasn't a miscarriage because I was experiencing no pain (the blood was a total shocker). I was so relieved, but I was still up to high dough, even with my mum calming me down that everything was ok.

My first scan

When I got in touch with my doctor the next morning, he sent me straight for an early scan to make sure the pregnancy was ok, my partner was at work over an hour away and I had to go straight to the hospital. So my cousin and my mother came with me.

No one prepares you for what you will feel the first time you see your baby on that screen, they tell you it's amazing, they tell you that you might cry, but the feeling is actually unexplainable. And there it was... my little baby, it's heart beating away. Me and my mum just started to cry, what an emotional time, seeing your baby. Especially since I had thought the worst the whole night through. I cannot describe what it's like to see your little baby, I didn't want her to stop with the ultrasound, but she was only making sure it was still there and that everything was ok. And off home I went, with my first little picture of my baby, everything was fine. I was so happy!

When you first become pregnant, it's a complete shock to the system, you will have mixed emotions, mixed reactions. But something kicks in, a maternal protective instinct comes with it, your hormones change and you start to realise you're going to be a mother, something within your body makes a shift and I can't explain it, but you start to care more about the little tiny person in your stomach than you do yourself. I always heard my mother talking about the feeling of love, and I never thought I would feel it, but when you do, it hits you and it's the most amazing, overwhelming feeling of love that you will ever feel.

It was definitely different caring more about something I hadn't felt kick, something I had never met, something I didn't know much about, than myself. But that's just motherhood :)

Conclusion to the first trimester...

My conclusion to the first trimester is that everyone has it differently, I had no real pregnancy symptoms and even I was questioning it at the start, I wasn't sick, no morning sickness at all. I felt fine! The only thing I felt was completely exhausted from day one and that's still happening, but I wouldn't change anything for the world! My first trimester was supposed to be the hardest, mines wasn't... It was completely fine, no sickness, no headaches, no cravings, no heightened sense of smell, no food diversions, nothing! So don't worry if you feel no symptoms, or all of the symptoms, your pregnancy will be progressing normally and perfectly if you take care of yourself. 

Next: Dating Scan and the Second Trimester!

The shock to the system that is PREGNANCY!

PREGNANCY!!!

What a MASSIVE surprise/shock it was to find out in January that I was in fact pregnant!

Due to complications/operations on my cervix and other health issues I actually believed my chances of pregnancy were quite slim (also the fact majority of girls think they're infertile anyway for no reason - this I truly believed)

But to my absolute delight/shock/surprise/confused self when I decided to take a pregnancy test and the test came back positive, I remember my first thoughts were "omg labour, omg i'm not infertile, omg is this for real?"

The weirdest part of all is that I wasn't going to take a test... I had been feeling different and thought to myself "it's all in your head MegHan, it's too good to be true anyway" - My period was absolutely wack anyway, so at 8 days overdue I wasn't thinking anything - that night I decided to say my daily prayers to my brother in heaven, where this one night I asked him "Kevin, please give me some sort of sign that I'm on the right path in life that I'm meant to be on", and I fell to sleep like any normal night...

When I woke up the next day, something told me "take a test", so I got up and went to the chemist, decided to take the first test, looked at the little bar fill up, (the first line is the positive line, the second is the negative line - you need both to be positive).

... I watched it fill and the first line came up, so I set it down not thinking anything (DOH!), then thought to myself.....hold on? I picked it up again still sitting on the toilet #Lovely, and there it was... two bright positive lines! 

I phoned my partner straight away due to complete shock, I didn't even know what was happening, I blurted it down the phone to him and his reaction was "really? oh my!" he was just as shocked as me after me telling him I felt pregnant and had been "feeling" pregnant for at least a week.

What I did next was quite simply due to shock.... *hands over face* 

Most girls tell their mother first, right? Most girls wait to tell their parents, no? No.... not me! My dad has just come in from work... I threw my pregnancy stick at him (lovely) and he asked me "what is this?" I just looked at him... He soon gathered what it was, and just looked at me with a face I've never seen before... Then everything was fine once he spoke and told me the usual any parent would tell a child that had just found out they were pregnant, "It's fine, this happens all the time, can't believe I'm going to be a grandparent again" and that's when he started to smile!

So with my dad knowing I knew everything would be ok :) Next to tell was my mum, I have the video of where I told her somewhere in my phone... Her reaction was exactly what I thought it would be, 100% supportive from the word go! I'm very lucky to have such understanding supportive parents as I know not everyone is as easy going as this, especially their "baby" becoming pregnant, but they're my parents after all :)

Next: The first trimester and everything that comes with it!

That's the start of my pregnancy story complete, so I'm going to update regularly on my pregnancy journey... stay tuned :)

#FitnessModelGal

#Pregnancy

The Next Step...

So last week I went on camera to talk about my #SaveTheDal campaign, politics, how to defeat bullies, how to deal with negativity and what message I would give young people.

I will make sure to share the video when it is posted online, I think young people have a lot to learn from the likes of myself. I have been through a massive amount of negativity coming from all different directions and I'm still standing strong.

"Fitting In"

I understand that there is massive amounts of pressure to be put on young people these days, to look good, to have the best, to be popular. Massive amounts of peer pressure is being thrown onto the youth of today, to "fit in" and this is only going to cause chaos, because what exactly is fitting in?

When I was in secondary school, I didn't exactly fit in, I always had different interests to the majority, I wanted to play football, I wanted to be a mechanic, I wanted to start modelling and these are not "normal" interests for a young girl from a small town to be thinking. How dare I? 

But what I can say is that, I did everything I wanted to - I didn't listen to the people telling me to fit in, I didn't listen to peer pressure, I was myself and I still behave in the way I want, I cannot apologise for not conforming to what other people see as their "normal", but can anyone answer me, what exactly is normal?

I find it disgusting how the youth of today are made to feel just because they have their own interests and differences than the majority. There is no such thing as normal.

I have younger girls who look up to me, I have young family whom I am worried about living in a society like today's, who are afraid of change, who are scared of people who step out, break the mold, so they attack it. I have had so many people attack me because I don't conform. But I never will, so they should just stop while they're ahead. Anytime a young person asks me advice, I will always take the time to try and help them. I also give advice to people the same age as me, and older (I don't discriminate).

Peer Pressure

I understand that growing up people are under extreme peer pressure now, and one type of peer pressure that I know a lot about, is the pressure to try new things - Sex, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs! These are all things I am very aware that goes on in todays society, which has always went on and always will happen. This is something I feel passionate about and something I want to help with.

I know I am very good at talking about subjects people feel they can't mention, and therefore I believe I am the right candidate to talk about this, also seeing as I have first hand experience of drug and alcohol misuse.

Everyone who knows me, knows my take on drugs - my brother was a drug addict, I have experienced drugs ruining families, relationships, friendships and I have watched my brother throw his life away because of drugs. Living in a small town, I see younger and younger people now experimenting with drugs, and it is such a pity. They don't realise what they are doing, they think it's cool, it's fun, it will make them "fit in". It won't... 

Drugs do nothing but give you a false reality, they ruin your life, the way you look, the way you perceive things. People will always experiment with drugs and will take drugs, this isn't something that can be changed, because no matter what is set in place - people seem to end up getting their hands on more and more drugs.

I plan to challenge young people, they are the youth generation and what our world is going to have to deal with when my generation is gone and the generations before me, so they need to be educated. Educated in school, educated in life, educated in substance misuse, something that is so common nowadays, so common that it's scary.

I believe with my knowledge and experience of seeing a loved ones life get swept away with drug and alcohol misuse, that I would be the perfect person to speak to younger generations on drug abuse, about "fitting in", about how to deal with bullies and how to be happy in your skin.

Stormont

I plan to head to Stormont on Monday 8th December, with DUP Councillor Luke Poots to meet with and talk to the policing board on how I can challenge this issue.

Luke and I have grown a great business relationship so I plan to work closely with him to try and challenge this issue, my plan is to get talking to young people from all different backgrounds, share my experiences and hopefully help some people with what they are dealing with.

Obviously my main focus is the drug issue in towns, rural areas and cities, alcohol abuse and bullying, but I also plan to help young people in many different ways. I know Luke helps with a lot of different charities, some of them being: Savia, Fields of Life, Marie Curie Lisburn-Hillsborough and the Deborah Project.

Luke has helped set up a home for drug addicts in his constituency through the free Presbyterian Church, this is such an admirable thing to do and I look forward to working with him on the many different projects I will be taking on throughout my time spent in this field, and I intend to make it a long time. 

This won't go away today or tomorrow, but with the help of DUP Councillor Luke Poots and the help of many others, I believe we can make a start today and try our hardest to change things for the better.

Live Interview this morning with Frank Mitchell on U105

So yesterday morning I received a missed call from the Radio station U105 to say that I was wanted on to speak as a guest; so this morning I went live with Frank Mitchell :)

Regarding my latest campaign to save Dalriada Hospital, Frank had quite a few questions to ask about the risqué photo, which to every question I answered. He went on to talk about my blog and about my rather political type mindset. He was quite shocked at 22 years old how much I wanted to get involved with the ongoing campaign to save Dalriada Hospital as most 22 years olds are out "partying" and "getting on with their lives" - Which is obviously very, very true :) but then again I have a different mindset to most 22 year olds.

I told Frank that I wanted to promote confidence, I wanted to promote more young people getting involved in campaigns now that will affect THEIR future, and their childrens futures.

Every type of campaign, fundraiser or work I take on, all has some sort of benefit to promoting health, fitness, culture, confidence or something positive. When I was younger I would have used modelling to get me where I am today, to get me the followers that I need and now that I have a bit of a following, I use that to then work to my benefit.

Not only did I use the #SaveTheDal selfie to promote awareness for the closure of Dalriada Hospital (which I have received inside information to say that Jim Wells knows full well of my campaign), but I have also used it as a confidence booster for young women and men.

This is not to say that I want young girls or young men to get their "kits off" but looking at the bigger picture it shows them how to deal with negativity, negative press and how to brush it off - the amount of younger people who have contacted me and asked how do I do it? How do I stay so positive after so much negativity? I give them young people advice, I answer all of their emails and I don't shatter their illusions of me. I am a normal girl, living a normal life, but I want to give back and I want to help in any way I can. I have been very blessed with such a strong outlook on life, but it wasn't always this way.

I have received much negativity from the age of 15 because I started modelling. Being from a very small town it was shunned upon, you were made feel "stupid" to want to become a "model". But I did it anyway. I have always done my own thing, because that's all I can do, and that is all each and every one of us can do. Be nothing but ourselves.

Where I am today is because I have battled with many things: bullying, depression, constant negativity, being told "I can't" over and over again, being physically attacked, being belittled, being made fun of, going through a tough teenage time when my brother was addicted to drugs, being mentally abused by ex-boyfriends, my brother being murdered - you name it and I have went through it.

But THAT is what I have come through to make me such a strong person now - it was not easy and you have to be pretty thick skinned to make it out alive, but I wouldn't change it.

This is what I want to promote to young people, no matter what you go through, what is thrown your way, you can handle it. I have lost friends due to suicide, I have lost friends due to illnesses, I haven't given up, because "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" and I want young people to always remember this. To remember they aren't alone, that every strong person once started off weak, that bullies were once bullied themselves and it is not you that the problem lies with.

If someone belittles you, feel a pity on that person - do not retaliate, it is them that needs the help - not you!

I hope this article might help someone who is going through a hard time, who feels "alone" or feels scared to be themselves because of what others will think. This is the bigger picture to my #SaveTheDal campaign.

Always be who you want, as long as you are not hurting others, then you can be who you want to be. 

The closure of my local town's hospital is under threat. Jim Wells and the Health Trust have decided to close it "temporarily" until further notice. We know that this "temporary" is nothing but an insult, we know that there is no hope of it opening again.

Ballycastle's Dalriada Hospital has been home to many and it is a big family. The closure has come with nothing but devastation and heartbreak for the staff and the patients.

Dalriada hospital is the only MS centre in Northern Ireland, their closure makes no sense. The trust have promised to move the patients and staff elsewhere, but when faced with the question "Where?" they had no answers, instead they sat in silence whilst the politicians beside them had to give evidence on why this is such a disgusting and appalling decision.

There can be different accounts from the patients and staff found at this link below:

http://www.u.tv/News/Hundreds-picket-against-Dalriada-closure/fd7fb68a-2ccc-47d8-9f9c-2d5c96328231

And:

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland/dalriada-patients-in-legal-bid-to-prevent-closure-of-hospitals-ms-unit-30734333.html


The closure to this hospital has came as a complete burden, everyone feels outraged that they could do such a thing.

But by signing the petition (here): https://www.change.org/p/jim-wells-northern-ireland-health-minister-stop-the-closure-of-dalriada-hospital?recruiter=173787139&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_facebook_responsive

This will help towards the hospital not closing.

I recently put up a photo of my chest with #SaveTheDal written across it to raise awareness, and knowing that it would spark a lot of controversy, I decided to anyway - knowing that in this case "all publicity is good publicity" - and I was right. There have been over 2k views on the photo since I put it onto my social media site, which can be found here:  http://www.facebook.com/MegHanONeillmodel

I also explained in a video why I decided this was the best way for me to help, as well as attending pickets, protests and speaking out at the public meeting.

Please help us and please sign the petition. #SaveTheDal #NoMoreCuts

Everyone who knows me will know I don't take on any negativity that comes my way, I simply decide to walk away from it, rather than to confront it.
As the saying goes:

"Playing chess with a pigeon is like arguing with an idiot, no matter how good you play, the pigeon is going to shit on the board and strut around like he won anyway."

And this is exactly the take I have on life. I don't argue with people whom I believe, will do as the pigeon does, I will not stress myself out over it. Instead, I take myself away from the negativity that they want to surround me in.

You will always meet negative people in life, but these are not the people you should surround yourself with. If you surround yourself with negative people, it is only you to blame, when you start thinking negatively and start behaving in a negative manner.

Who in their right mind wants to feel negatively towards others and in-turn, feel bad about themselves? This will only lead to anxiety, depression and mental health issues in the long run. I have met so many negative people in my life, I have tried to help them and bring them round to my way of thinking, but in the end - you can only try so much and you will then realize you're failing miserably.

Negativity is a frame of mind, the owner of that mind has to break its code to be set free, surround yourself with positivity and you will find yourself having a better outlook on life.

This is my outlook on life - be positive and positive things will happen you :)
Have a healthy body and a healthy brain, you will in turn be much happier.

#FitnessModelGal

I don't know if many people buy the Sunday World, but on Friday I visited the Belfast Telegraph tower to discuss life after my brothers death and how I've grabbed life with both hands.

It was nice to finally get to say my own side, I spoke of the loss in a positive (if there is one) way. How I'm dealing with it now, I dismissed the lies that have been spoke about my brothers death, I talked about the fact he had a problem with addictions and what it was like living with that for the years leading up to his death.

It was a very positive article and I'm very happy with it :)

I have decided to start blogging to talk about fitness, how it's helped me and how I'm using it to challenge my inner hurt. To talk and inspire people living with problems that they might not usually talk about.

I currently write poetry as well for depression aware campaigns, trying to get the taboo subject, no longer "taboo" so if anyone has any questions, please feel free to throw them at me :)

#FitnessModelGal