The First Trimester
(...and all that comes with it)
So with two positive pregnancy tests under my belt, I decided that yes in fact I definitely was 100% pregnant! But you always have that worry don't you.... that when you go to the scan they'll tell you you're not pregnant at all! (This was constantly in my head, silly me)
First trimester is a constant worry!
But you have millions of worries when you realise you're pregnant for the first time (or any time for that matter). Am I going to be a good parent? Is this real? Are they going to tell me at my first scan that my pregnancy tests were somehow wrong? Am I going to be ok? Is my body going to reject this pregnancy or will I get by the 12 weeks ok? What should I not eat? Should I not lift anything? Being it the first pregnancy for myself, I was petrified of the thought of having a person inside me. I was petrified that I wouldn't get to the 12 weeks, I was petrified that someone would bump into me, that I would fall, that something would happen to take this amazing gift away from me. I wanted to wrap myself in bubble wrap for the first trimester, whilst not many people knew I was pregnant, I had to make excuses about why I wasn't drinking at parties, why I wasn't lifting heavy things, why I was so reluctant about going out, (being a 23 year old girl it's more or less expected of you to want to go to parties and drink or whatever, thankfully not me!).
My immediate family were told more or less straight away, my partner knew but I still kept it away from friends, just because I was so scared of something happening in the first 12 weeks as they're the most scary and you're told to wait until your first scan to tell anyone, so that's what I did, (or tried to)
Clothes didn't fit anymore...
I was told because I'm so "petite" that my first pregnancy probably wouldn't show until 5/6 months, because that's the norm right? Yeah... not for me! By 8 weeks I had to invest in new clothes, nothing fit me anymore, well t-shirts and jumpers still fit because obviously I hadn't out grown them, but my size 4 jeans were the first thing to go (no wonder) and all jeans following that! I invested in bigger jeans and leggings which were the only things to now fit me. I couldn't believe by 8 weeks that not bottoms fit me anymore, or bra's for that matter. My boobs jumped straight to a C cup in the first few weeks and for anyone who knows me will know I've never been blessed in this department before so I welcomed these new breasts with open arms!
Are you sure there's only one in there?
Another massive worry for me was that I was having twins. TWINS! Constantly in my mind, my mum was convincing me it had to be twins, she'd never seen anyone grow so quick during their first pregnancy, I kept saying it has to be because I'm so tiny. I did NOT want twins, they're gorgeous but two of everything? One baby was scaring me enough, two would just be the icing on the cake! But thankfully when I got my first scan... It was only one! *Phew*Although this meant nothing to anyone after my first scan, they STILL tried to convince me it was twins, but I can assure you it's only one!! I was literally just that big straight away, so if you're like me and get a bump straight away, don't worry :) it's perfectly normal!
The worst thing that could happen, did...
So worrying from day one about this pregnancy because it felt, and still does, to good to be true... I was literally just waiting for something bad to happen, and of course it did.
I was 10 weeks at this stage and I had literally just told my closest friends about the pregnancy - One night after visiting my friend and her newborn (getting practice in), I came home, it was a normal night... nothing out of the ordinary and I hadn't been exercising, nothing different. But to my absolute horror when I went to the toilet for a wee (which happens 24/7 in pregnancy by the way!) I got up to a pool of blood, the whole toilet was covered in blood. I was in on my own and I just started shaking, the worst things came to mind straight away "This is it, I'm not going to make it to 12 weeks, I knew it was too good to be true" - I phoned my partner straight away, he told me to ring the doctor on call and so I did.
Whilst I was waiting for a call back I kept telling myself that it was ok, that if I was losing the pregnancy that everything would be ok, I was strong enough to face it, I would get through it, obviously God had other plans for me. I was convincing myself I would be ok because I knew this was happening right now.
The nurse was lovely and because I had no pain, she told me to get to bed straight away and rest, not to get up, to literally lay in bed until the next morning to I phoned my doctor, told me that it probably wasn't a miscarriage because I was experiencing no pain (the blood was a total shocker). I was so relieved, but I was still up to high dough, even with my mum calming me down that everything was ok.
My first scan
When I got in touch with my doctor the next morning, he sent me straight for an early scan to make sure the pregnancy was ok, my partner was at work over an hour away and I had to go straight to the hospital. So my cousin and my mother came with me.
No one prepares you for what you will feel the first time you see your baby on that screen, they tell you it's amazing, they tell you that you might cry, but the feeling is actually unexplainable. And there it was... my little baby, it's heart beating away. Me and my mum just started to cry, what an emotional time, seeing your baby. Especially since I had thought the worst the whole night through. I cannot describe what it's like to see your little baby, I didn't want her to stop with the ultrasound, but she was only making sure it was still there and that everything was ok. And off home I went, with my first little picture of my baby, everything was fine. I was so happy!
When you first become pregnant, it's a complete shock to the system, you will have mixed emotions, mixed reactions. But something kicks in, a maternal protective instinct comes with it, your hormones change and you start to realise you're going to be a mother, something within your body makes a shift and I can't explain it, but you start to care more about the little tiny person in your stomach than you do yourself. I always heard my mother talking about the feeling of love, and I never thought I would feel it, but when you do, it hits you and it's the most amazing, overwhelming feeling of love that you will ever feel.
It was definitely different caring more about something I hadn't felt kick, something I had never met, something I didn't know much about, than myself. But that's just motherhood :)
Conclusion to the first trimester...
My conclusion to the first trimester is that everyone has it differently, I had no real pregnancy symptoms and even I was questioning it at the start, I wasn't sick, no morning sickness at all. I felt fine! The only thing I felt was completely exhausted from day one and that's still happening, but I wouldn't change anything for the world! My first trimester was supposed to be the hardest, mines wasn't... It was completely fine, no sickness, no headaches, no cravings, no heightened sense of smell, no food diversions, nothing! So don't worry if you feel no symptoms, or all of the symptoms, your pregnancy will be progressing normally and perfectly if you take care of yourself.
